May 8, 2011

Amor Fati

"My formula for greatness in a human being is amor fati: that one wants nothing to be different, not forward, not backward, not in all eternity. Not to merely bear what is necessary, still less conceal it—all idealism is mendaciousness in the face of what is necessary—but to love it."

-Friedrich Nietzsche

I do believe in Love, in more than one way, and love in a spiritual aspect. Of course, as the Master Jung said, people focus on Love's gentle side without realizing that Love is terrible, too. That's the catch. I do believe in something beyond my true conception, beyond the conception or grasp of this ego-center that I am floating amid my Self with, like a raft on a great, immense dark ocean. From this narrow perspective, little really makes sense. It is the messages coming from the dark- chief of which come to me through folklore and myth- that gives me an inkling of the true Powers and Purpose behind things, if those unsatisfactory words may be used.

I think we're all in a big story, to be honest. I think the chief quality of the world or cosmos, the chief reality of reality, is a mythical one, a matrix that generates stories, through which profundity becomes real. Words have that kind of sorcery. I don't think it's all "fair" in any given story, but in the meta-story, something sublime and unknown is happening which moves as close as our understanding ever will get to love- and it's a kind of love that puts everything in harmony, no matter what has gone before or what will come ahead. We have a place we can each accept with peace, with reverence, joy, trepidation, and even a wise fear- and embracing the story of Cosmos (and the older story of Chaos) is the best way to settle all these affairs of the confused heart.

I know some of the Great Powers, the great characters in this story of Cosmos. The Ancestors rightly worshiped them as Gods. I know one of the chief storytellers, that Clever spirit that gave us words, and made all this real in a new way. And I know that together, all powers- including us- line up in a synchronistic harmony that overpowers the senses and over-floods the reason. I would never call that a "God", for devotion to Gods is another matter, but that great Self of which I am speaking, and of which Jung spoke, only speaks and reveals itself in the tiny crack of intuition, or the single moment of sublimity that you gain when the deep meaning of an old tale comes to you. What is this unguessable space that contains everything, and by which everything seems influenced to come to pass? Fate, Old Fate, nothing but Fate and Her Mystery. Nothing can be said about it more.

But I can call it something else- this is the spirit of peace, the door to the best wisdom. Making things too focused on "love" in some "we humans are special above all" sort of way just confuses love with ego. No need for that. We need to be the part of the story that we are. We are Fate's protagonists and antagonists, Her children, Her monsters, Her heroes, and Her own deepest satisfaction.

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